There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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