why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
