I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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