I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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