We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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