he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize