the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
