this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
