How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
