He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
