i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
