the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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