a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
