Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
