It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
