Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
