I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
