my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
