Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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