omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize