I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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