No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
there is glitter all over my balls
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
