i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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