She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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