dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
