I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
