my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
