I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
