That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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