the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
