I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So vagazzling was a success
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
