The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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