Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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