he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
