now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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