I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
