she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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