Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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