I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Still dying that you shit outside
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
