She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
