the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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