just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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