is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
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After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
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i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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