Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
