The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
