and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
