you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
of course. lets lasso hookers.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
