either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
