Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
