She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
