Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
