1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
