im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
