you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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