C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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