Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  one might say we're banned from that church

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  (510): one might say we're banned from that church http://tfl.nu/l4dz
  Replies (5) Good night (3966) Bad night (737)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink

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  (775): Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink http://tfl.nu/sedp
  Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (2015)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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  (518): I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever. http://tfl.nu/idj0
  Replies (39) Good night (5636) Bad night (1131)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."

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  (508): They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever." http://tfl.nu/4fcm
  Replies (49) Good night (17818) Bad night (1795)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.

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  (775): This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life. (1-775): Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life. http://tfl.nu/spac
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (3047)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

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  (503): She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis. http://tfl.nu/3s19
  Replies (47) Good night (8771) Bad night (2170)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?

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  (615): is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....? http://tfl.nu/4au4
  Replies (13) Good night (3326) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.

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  (856): it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar. http://tfl.nu/5cy5
  Replies (6) Good night (4165) Bad night (1732)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?

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  (440): Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating? http://tfl.nu/ubob
  Replies (6) Good night (1545) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.

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  (248): It's fine...I've done worse things to better people. http://tfl.nu/e0kr
  Replies (3) Good night (1750) Bad night (614)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it

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  (630): I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it http://tfl.nu/s57c
  Replies (5) Good night (585) Bad night (1655)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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  (719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2
  Replies (8) Good night (1734) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.

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  (585): You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking. http://tfl.nu/3gz9
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again

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  (513): It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again http://tfl.nu/339h
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.

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  (262): Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. (215): I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life. http://tfl.nu/r8y6
  Replies (6) Good night (1405) Bad night (217)

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