He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator