I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.