The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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