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• (305): View more from Florida

  Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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• (510): View more from California

  i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.

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• (209): View more from California

  Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing

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• (352): View more from Florida

  This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

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• (310): View more from California

  Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."

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• (716): View more from New York

  Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"

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• (424): View more from California

  I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.

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