How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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