Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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(602): dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese. http://tfl.nu/mk7p

Replies (30) Good night (4422) Bad night (1112)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

please don't let me die tonight

(860): View more from Connecticut

what have you done for me lately?

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(203): please don't let me die tonight (860): what have you done for me lately? http://tfl.nu/9vcn

Replies (18) Good night (4907) Bad night (1302)
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(310): View more from California

as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

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(310): as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!' http://tfl.nu/csk1

Replies (34) Good night (5982) Bad night (1233)
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(440): View more from Ohio

i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.

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(440): i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too. http://tfl.nu/6m2a

Replies (15) Good night (1270) Bad night (2957)
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(801): View more from Utah

The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts

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(801): The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts http://tfl.nu/uckw

Replies (10) Good night (1249) Bad night (3142)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.

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(616): I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse. http://tfl.nu/2ozn

Replies (3) Good night (2125) Bad night (830)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?

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(867): Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting? http://tfl.nu/56t0

Replies (2) Good night (2114) Bad night (1653)
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(816): View more from Missouri

If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.

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(816): If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing. http://tfl.nu/vitq

Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (1238)
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(917): View more from New York City

No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.

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(917): No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out. http://tfl.nu/gccc

Replies (3) Good night (1632) Bad night (786)
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(562): View more from California

I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.

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(562): I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me. http://tfl.nu/m5b0

Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (1061)
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(562): View more from California

don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.

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(562): don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you. http://tfl.nu/zbku

Replies (3) Good night (2505) Bad night (617)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...

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(+44): A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh... http://tfl.nu/ky7u

Replies (5) Good night (656) Bad night (1946)
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(512): View more from Texas

He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game

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(512): He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game http://tfl.nu/mfd2

Replies (13) Good night (1953) Bad night (466)
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(631): View more from New York

Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.

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(631): Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/mm7p

Replies (10) Good night (345) Bad night (1001)
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(334): View more from Alabama

i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.

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(334): i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears. http://tfl.nu/d46z

Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (321)

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