halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....