i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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