just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
