Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
