HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
