question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Randomize
