I wish life had little blips of pornography
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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