Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just google imaged poop.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
