Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think I sprained my soul last night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
