i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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